office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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