420 ftw
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
