i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
