He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
