My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
