marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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