I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
