i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
