I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
