its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
