I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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