She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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