69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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