dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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