I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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