i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
