Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
