You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize