yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize