if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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