she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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