GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
