My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
