Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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