Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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