It's Friday. Sex?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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