My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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