just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Found the puke drawer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
