Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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