The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this will be a night to untag.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize