I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
