there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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