dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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