my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
