you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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