There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
kristin has been a bad kristin
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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