This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Im part way to drunk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize