god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
