apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
