could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
