i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
bring money and cleavage
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
