Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
