Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
