I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
