Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
