Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Panties = found
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
