It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
