He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
