Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
