She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
