I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize