people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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