Someone shit on the floor
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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