i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you win again, gameday.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
