she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
