Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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