seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
